I have a topic that I’d like to discuss, and I’ll use myself as the example, because I haven’t heard any other discussion on the topic. I was reading over at Σ Frame when the question of a virgin young man’s sexual compatibility with any potential wife came up.
I myself for whatever reason never worried about my sexual compatibility, so I would never have thought to bring the topic up. Although I’m blessed, I presumed that, if a baby’s head can come out of a woman’s baby maker, I’m pretty certain my penis will fit in. Now perhaps I’m not talking about the same aspect of sexual compatibility that was in question, but here is what happened to me.
Prior to marriage I had looked at pornography. I found I liked breasts of all shapes and sizes, I really did like them all, whatever preferences I had were pretty minimal. I also looked at vaginas, I found them interesting, while a little strange looking, but there too, I didn’t have any real strong preferences, except that they not be shaved bald and look just like a young child’s crotch.
I met my wife online, and was almost “in love” before I physically met her. When I did first meet her I was pleasantly suprised, that although she didn’t look exactly like her profile picture, she actually looked better than her online photo. Long story short – I fell in love, and married her.
I had never had sex until with my wife. When I first saw her breasts, I didn’t recall seeing many exactly like that, but I liked them. And when I first saw her vagina, well, it was a vagina, as good as any other vagina.
Somehow I got imprinted.
Due to my wife’s intimacy-anorexia she intentionally distances me, she withholds sharing emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy as part of her behavioral addiction. And so it was, that bereft of much sex with my wife, and let down by churches who refused to help, I turned back to pornography. But, to my surprise, I didn’t want to see just any breasts like before. I found myself looking for breasts that looked exactly like my wife’s breasts, and the more they looked like my wife’s breasts, the more I preferred them. I also had grown to appreciate vaginas a lot more, but the absolute best vaginas looked exactly like my wife’s vagina.
I wasn’t intentionally trying to find models that looked like my wife, I just gradually came to notice that I now strongly preferred everything to look exactly like how she looked. I now strongly prefer my wife’s size of nipples, the size and color of her areolas, the size and shape of her breasts. I also strongly prefer the size, shape, color, and texture of her pussy lips. I’m sorry, but I just do now. Apparently I imprinted on her sexually, and she is now what I just strongly prefer.
Anyhow, I’m not sure how this happened. I haven’t got the foggiest idea. I’m not even sure why I imprinted. Was it an act or blessing of God? Is it natural? Was it an act of will, that I chose to love her as she was, and it solidified? Had I perchance been blessed to marry somebody perfectly matching some subconscious preferences that I had been previously unaware of? Does this happen to others? I don’t know.
It gets worse.
My wife got pregnant twice during our marriage, and as she first began exhibiting the look of pregnancy, I began to love that look. I knew she was pregnant before she did. One day she wondered aloud if she was possibly pregnant, and without even thinking I just blurted out, yes, your boobs have changed. Anyhow, I began to love everything about the look of pregnancy as my wife exhibited it. And perhaps thanks to powerful pregnancy hormones overpowering my wife’s intimacy-anorexia the last two trimesters of both my wife’s pregnancies were the most regular sex I ever got. Anyhow, I sort of have a thing for pregnant women now, and I had never found them attractive before my wife first got pregnant. But now they’re just radiant and sexy to me, and I don’t know how to make it stop.